Running to Promote Reading in Young Readers

Why We Run?

welcome runners

Hands down, one of the most inspiring days of my life was running the Boston Marathon. There are many reasons for this but none more than the events that exemplified the power of the human spirit.

Not surprisingly, many of these moments came from waves three and four, the last waves compiled of teammates who fundraised and ran for a cause. My team was Dana Farber, and as a team we raised over $5 million for cancer research—$5 million!

Personally, several people in my life (my grandfather, neighbor Charlotte, student Jake, uncle Paul, and grandmother) inspired my call to run, which made the athletic feat (for me) far more meaningful than a twenty-six mile course—I was running for patients, families, and friends experiencing a painful time that my family/friends understood.

People with stories; people in need of support and compassion.

During my training, I fundraised for DFMC (Dana Farber Marathon Challenge) and raised (with the help of so many generous spirits) just under my individual goal of $10,000. Meanwhile, my tremendous cousin, Michael, raised his individual goal of $5,000.

Amazing! But with such success, Michael and I wondered if we could help another cause we felt needed support…

michael and me


Moving Forward

Well, we found one!

This year, Michael and I are tying up our laces again for a half marathon in Niagara Falls. Although there is no fundraising requirement to enter this run, we agreed that we wanted to find a group to run and fundraise for any way; an organization that shared something we are both passionate about.

What is that cause?

Promoting reading in young readers!

Screen Shot 2018-05-08 at 2.09.17 PM

Bound by our collaborated passion for stories—our belief that sharing stories can unite (and sometimes save) people from all races, genders, sexualities, and backstories—Michael and I have decided to run for an organization/company that believes/supports this same cause.

But with so many wonderful organizations out there, we’re reaching out to you to help us make this big decision: What company/organization promoting reading in young readers should we run for?


We Need Your Help!

If you have the time, and if you believe in the importance of encouraging young readers and children to read, please check out the organizations that we are considering below. I’ve provided a brief description of the five organizations, as well as a three-question survey that can enlighten our perspective on the company you would most support.

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Give them a read and then take a couple minutes to complete our survey, which you can find in the attached link.

We so appreciate your feedback and your contribution to the powerful change people  make when we choose compassion for others first.


Organizations/Companies for Consideration

If you want more information than provided, click the pictures to link to a video campaign for each organization/company.

1) Sparking Literacy

sparkingConcerned with the literary crisis in America, with one in four kids growing up with an inability to read, Sparking Literacy promotes reading for pleasure in young readers. Results have improved literacy rates, prevented dropouts, and changed the future for young people by creating Sparking Literacy book clubs in schools, hosting author events, donating books, and developing audiobooks to help kids with disabilities learn to read.

2) We Need Diverse Books

diverseA spectacular company that works to put more books with diverse characters in the hands of children. Donations help this organization diversify the classroom, support diverse authors, promote diverse programming, and develop educational kits through various programs WNDB internships, scholarship grants, and book giveaways.

3) United Through Reading unitedUnited Through Reading helps the children of active military personnel bond with their deployed parents through reading. Representatives from the nonprofit visit military bases all over the world film parents reading books to their kids back at home, building the emotional bond between parents and children through literacy.

4) Book Aid International book aidDistributes books to libraries, schools, hospitals, prisons, refugee camps and rural communities in order to encourage literacy and access to reading materials in sub-Saharan Africa and the Middle East. The NGO has sent roughly 30 million books to underserved areas since its founding in 1954.

5)Project Night Night

night nightProject Night Night sends over 25,000 “Night Night Packages” to homeless children each year. These packages contain blankets, stuffed animals, and children’s books that help kids in poor living conditions “feel secure, cozy, ready to learn, and significant.”


Take the Survey!

So there you have it, five stellar nonprofit organizations doing all they can to support reading. Though there are several organizations out there with a similar vision, these five tugged at our heartstrings the most. How about you?

Take our SURVEY to help us decide a) what organization we should fundraise/run for this October and b) why you would donate to this company.

Until next time, thanks for all your help.

And happy reading!

“Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light.” —Vera Nazarian


MFA or No MFA? That is the Question.

If you’re an aspiring writer and you’ve clicked on this blog, you’re probably debating about getting a MFA. And after the mountain of online articles blurring in your closing eyes, you’ve decided…nothing. “Great balls of fire!” Why can’t anyone give a straight answer!

I’ll tell you why – because they’re vouching for what they think – MFA or no MFA. But unless they’ve agreed to pay your tuition, or hunt you down until you’ve met your weekly word count, their opinions don’t matter. Your’s does, though…so what do you do?

mfaStop wasting your time reading articles debating about this issue! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if John Smith believes you’ll never publish without a MFA and Hilary Clankinbeard thinks burning money on a MFA is baloney. Who cares what they think – they’re not you! And only you understand your professional, social, and financial situation. Only you can decide if a MFA’s benefits will outweigh its costs.

Enter, the solution. The MFA Yes and No checklist, a list of four big reasons you should or shouldn’t get a MFA.

Now on to the list!

First and foremost, I want to express that I am NOT going to give you a list of boring reasons as to why I decided not to get a MFA. This article isn’t about me. It’s about YOU – another aspiring writer out there just itching to learn more about writing! And it’s not important that you hear why I or any other writer did or did not get a MFA. It only matters your situation and what you think will make you a stronger writer. The costs and benefits weigh equally for most debaters, but only you know your work and home situation. Only your gut can tip the scale. 


TO GET A MFA OR NOT TO GET A MFA? That is the question…

YES! No!
1.I want to write, but I’m not disciplined. I’m one of those people who uses my job, my family, my friends, or my exhaustion to keep me from gluing my butt in my seat and typing until I finish. Having assignments and deadlines leaves me no option but to research and write – so following a curriculum that forces me to complete assignments by a deadline will teach me good habits and force me to write, despite my excuses.


Note of Caution: School eventually does come to an end, and one day you will have to learn to discipline yourself and write outside the classroom. The real work must and always be done at home – driven by you and you alone. But, if getting a MFA will jump-start good writing habits, go for it!

1. I can’t afford it. Probably the number one reason writers stray from getting a MFA. After reading about how amazing the program sounds, you land on the admission cost and – with a knife in your heart – realize there’s no way in hell-abaloo you can afford it (now). Most programs range around $35,000-$40,000 – not including room and board or other expenses. Yup, college admission continues to increase for Master’s programs too. And it stinks like a bag of flaming crap on your doorstep, but, “there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it”…or is there! If you need more instruction but can’t afford a MFA – YOU CAN STILL LEARN! Half (or more) of being a writer (that succeeds) is continuing to educate yourself. Ever considered online programs from credible (AND AMAZING!) resources like Writer’s Digest University? If not, start enrolling in writing workshops like these – they’re more affordable than the traditional classroom setting (an online!) – as long as you’re someone who has enough drive to get your work done on your own 🙂
2. I don’t know what to research. You’re on Twitter and Facebook and you follow blogs, and you’ve explored the tips and tricks on the web…but something still feels like it’s missing. You’d like hands-on guidance from a mentor who can push you (and know your story personally) in the right direction, pointing you to people and works that might give you answers to flaws in your novel. Heck, your instructors do want you to complete your thesis – which is a bit different from an agency reading 500 manuscripts out a slush pile – weekly! 2. I have a job. So you can’t go to school full-time – or you could, but you might drown in a black hole by the time you’re done. Yes, it’ true that having a MFA does not guarantee you get published. You might learn skills. You might meet agents. But you don’t get an agent, an editor, or a publisher because you have a degree. Representation and publishing are a whole different animal. Even if you have a MFA, it’s up to you to sell your book – with or without an agent. You need to build your author platform. You need to seek representation. You need to publish it. Just don’t throw your debut novel in the corner because you get rejected one, two, or one-thousand times. If you want your novel to have a life, it’s up to you to create and promote it. Writing the book itself is its own precious, time-consuming, heart-throbbing job. Writers write because it is their vocation – they can’t imagine doing anything else. So even if you can’t complete a MFA because you have a full-time job – guess what, you can still get your book published. If you’re willing to put in the work.
3. I don’t know any writers and I’d like to meet agents, publishers, and editors. One great advantage of getting a MFA is your opportunity to learn from and work with published authors. And if your instructor isn’t published (which is practically unheard of), it’s more than likely you will attend presentations by guest speakers who…well, they’ve been invited for a reason! If you’re not an outgoing person, a MFA program places you in a more personal, comfortable position to speak to professionals in the industry. It can be scary diving right into the heat of a competitive, fast-paced environment like publishing if you’re farouche – and you’d find comfort writing side by side with supportive yet constructive readers. Maybe the stars will align (thanks to your research!), and you even hit it off with a guest agent or editor. Happily Ever After (and then the real work begins!)


Note: Some programs like Emerson College build a publishing component into the curriculum. If you’re interested in publishing – there are degrees for that, too!

3. I’d rather spend my time writing (my genre!) than analyzing. Yes, you will write until your fingers bleed before they hand you your MFA, but it requires a lot of structured, literary-focused work. If you’re writing for genre fiction like sci-fi or fantasy (among many others), then the MFA might not be for you. Not that some programs like Spalding University don’t offer all genre fiction choices…but they’re not the norm, and they’re not the main focus even if they’re offered. Focusing on fiction can be tricky in a MFA program – and if courses with a literary core is not what you want, well, I’d encourage you to check out alternative online courses, like Writer’s Digest University (again, they are amazing!!!!). Or, maybe you don’t have the money for a course (or you’re more advanced than what the course offers) but still want to learn from a published author/editor/agent…try purchasing an OnDemand Webinar instead. You might learn exactly what you hope to hear – faster!
4. You practice you’re writing…but not consistently. If you’re one of those people that writes – not a writer (because writers, write!), you might benefit from a structured environment – needing someone to tell you to complete “x” number of pages with “x” number of words by Friday. Again, you can’t let poor excuses and distractions – writer’s block, no time, the list goes on and on – get in your way…MFA or no MFA. But, if paying pockets-full-of money for that MFA motivates your fingers on the keyboard or grows your interest to research, do it. 4. I have a family.  And I can’t just pick up and move them because I want to attend a program in a different state. Why can’t there be more programs that are online! They’re out there, but they might involve some airfare on occasion. And again, you have to consider if a MFA would work for YOUR family. Each one is different and may or may not need more attention. But a word of caution for those out there who use “busy schedules” as their excuse. I said it earlier and I’ll say it again – writer’s write. When they’re busy. When they’re hungry. And when they’re tired. Learn a routine that works, and stick to it. But you will never get anything published if you can’t discipline yourself to write Besides, you’ll feel empty if you cheat on your books. Don’t deprive your characters from your affection! You wouldn’t deprive your kids!

Okay. But I still don’t know what to do. What now??


Watch this funny YouTube video to break the tension while you decide!  By YouTube Channel – Cole and MarmaladeMake a Decision – And have your mind blown, too!

Ask yourself – Do I need a MFA (I almost forgot! If your intent is teaching college, then YES, you probably do need a MFA – universities and colleges tend to hire instructors with a MFA or published experience)? And if I do, is this the right time for me and my family? And, if not, what can I do to make sure I continue to LEARN how to write better, and how to sell my book?

If it’s not good enough to be a “good” writer – and it’s perfectly possible for a tirelessly persistent and resilient writer to succeed – focus your energy on what will make you more persistent and resilient. What will teach you more about writing, and what will boost your desire to learn on your own – MFA or no MFA? Only you can answer that.  

The Importance of Reading & Discussion: Jurassic Park – How Crichton’s Descriptions Shows v. Tells

Reading Isn’t Enough.

Nothing scares a creative writer (and if you’re reading this, that’s probably you) more than a lesson that looks like this:

boreing audience

I know, shocking. Lectures that drone on and on don’t keep eager learners interested. Yes, I said eager learners – that’s how ineffective rambling is.

In fact, undergraduate students in classes with traditional stand-and-deliver lectures are 1.5 times more likely to fail. That’s crazy! So crazy that educators at Harvard University like Eric Mazur believe it’s “almost unethical to be lecturing if you have the data…it’s outmoded, outdated, and inefficient.” Learners who don’t like to read might say the same goes for long-winded books (Twilight anyone?).

Thank the Word Lord us writers are blessed with a love for quiet places and worn bindings!

And yet – in many cases – reading isn’t enough…

Hold up! You’re telling me that if I read a bunch of books, I won’t become a better writer?

Heck no! Literature is the foundation of every great writer!

But that doesn’t mean I’ll get everything I can out of a good book – maybe even a life-changing book – if I don’t discuss what I think makes it so freak-funkifying-fantastic….

The Importance of Reading & Discussion

 As a creative writing teacher (and writer in the works myself), I deeply believe in the importance of reading with a purpose.

It’s the same reason I require my creative writing students to dig up one book from four important categories (for writers) each semester.

What are they?

  • Competitive Books
  • Informative Books
  • Contemporary Books
  • Classics.

These books, I emphasize, will force writers to think new thoughts, learn new words, and harness the inspiration needed to keep going.

And yet, for us writers, reading isn’t enough. We need to communicate and comprehend what we’re reading.

In a 2013 lecture, bestselling author Neil Gaiman lectured on how our future relies on libraries, reading, and daydreaming. He stressed how people who do not understand each other cannot exchange ideas or communicate. He went on to discuss how in a time where noise continues to build across media, “words are more important than they ever were.”

I’d like to take this one step further.

Yes, reading is crucial to humanity’s wellbeing – a people’s intellectual and commutative survival.

But without discussion of what we read, we cannot communicate or comprehend the words for everything they’re worth.

Our goal as authors is to soil ideas that blossom into full-blown conversations. It’s a giant reason why we love reading so much!

So why don’t writers discuss what we read more?

In fact, why don’t we discuss right now.

Lesson 1: Jurassic Park – How Crichton’s Descriptions Shows v. Tells 

Oh boy – you just received that rejection letter from that agency and it’s a big hunking PASS. Maybe it doesn’t quite “resonate with us”. Maybe the agent isn’t “enthusiastic enough about this piece right now”. Bummer rama.

Don’t get down!

There’s a good chance that you have talent but need a little work on your voice and style. Perhaps you have an editor who keeps advising you to show more than tell.

Ah, the famous show don’t tell recommendation.

That’s right.

We’ve all heard it before. Likely, you possess a bookshelf filled with advice on writing skills to avoid just this…

But how many of us identify how bestselling authors show in their writing?

Do you?

Have no fear! Right not, I’ve designed a quick five-minute (max) lesson to help you analyze how Michael Crichton (Jurassic Park) shows in his writing! If you participate, maybe (just maybe) we can create a virtual discussion that will not only strengthen your writing skills, but your ability to read with a purpose!

If not, you still get to read a pretty scary-sick passage about velociraptors. That’s a win in my book! What about you?

Great! Then keep reading…and let’s discuss!

Let’s Discuss


Analyze how Michael Crichton introduces the Velociraptors with description that shows vs. tells. Then, write your own passage that continues to show these dinosaurs in action!

Essential Questions:

  1. How can I break up description of a character with action to develop a character or advance a plot?
  2. How can I use sounds, visuals, and textures to bring life into my voice?

Resources: Excerpt from Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park (130)

Assignment: Read the selected passage from page 130 in Jurassic Park. Identify one sentence that shows me something about the velociraptor instead of tells about her. Then, identify two words that create texture (or touch) in the description.

Don’t forget to share what you find in the comments section! The more people we can get to chat, the more we can all learn!

Passage (Page 130):

Amid the ferns, Grant saw the head of an animal, it was motionless, partially hidden in the fronds, the two large dark eyes watching coldly.

The head was two feet long. From a pointed snout, a long row of teeth ran back to the hole of the auditory meatus, which served as an ear. The head reminded him of a large lizard, or perhaps a crocodile. They did not blink, and the animal did not move. Its skin was leathery, with a pebbled texture, and basically the same coloration as the infant’s yellow-brown with darker reddish markings, like the stripes of a tiger.

As Grant watched, a single forelimb reached up very slowly to part the ferns beside the animal’s face. The limb, Grant saw, was strongly muscled. The hand had three grasping fingers, each ending in curved claws. The hand, gently, slowly, pushed aside the ferns.

Grant felt a chill and thought, He’s hunting us.

For a mammal like man, there was something indescribably alien about the way reptiles hunted their prey. No wonder men hated reptiles. The stillness, the coldness, the pace was all wrong. To be among alligators or other large reptiles was to be reminded of a different kind of life, a different kind of world, now vanished from the earth. Of course, this animal didn’t realize that he had been spotted, that he –

Discussion (What I Found):

How can I break up description of a character with action to develop a character or advance a plot?

When coaching my creative writing students, several stumble over the same question:

Mrs. Perry, they’ll say, how can I show more about my character without describing their physical aspects?

The truth is, you do need to describe your character’s physical aspects, but physical appearance isn’t the peanut butter and jelly in the PBJ of your description. You need to break it up with action!

For instance…

Notice Crichton goes into physical appearance of the raptors, how the raptor Grant sees is “two feet long” with a “pointed snout” and “row of teeth.” Great, super intimidating. Scary indeed – or is this scarier because I’ve seen the raptors in action in Spielberg’s masterpiece? (Who wasn’t scared by the raptors?!)

Reading for Thought…

Yes, it’s great to provide an initial description of a character so the reader can dig out the bread for the character’s sandwich, maybe cut off the crust. But that’s not the delicious goo of what they’ll take away from the character when they finish the chapter, which is exactly why we need action in the description.

I’ll Explain…

1.Notice how right before we hear Grant’s internal dialogue “He’s hunting us” we see the raptor’s hand “gently, slowly” push “aside the ferns.” Keeping its giant body in camouflage, while moving with such slow, eerie confidence is a testament to not only this predator’s intimidating intelligence, but Crichton’s brilliant display of showing v. telling in his introduction of antagonist numero uno – the terrifying Velociraptors!

2. In addition, Crichton seasons his physical description (a telling method to describe the raptors) with textures. For instance, words like “Grant felt a chill” add texture to the description that is much more effective than stating his internal dialogue (“He’s hunting us”) alone. It creates an icy realization that effectively shows how Grant feels (and if Grant feels it, you feel it!).

This same method of “showing” (description that uses texture) explains why Crichton describes the raptor’s skin as “pebbled” instead of eliminating the texture of the raptor’s skin completely. The bumpiness of the scales sparks Grant’s comparison of dinosaurs to crocodiles, and how reptiles in particular frighten men with their “stillness, their coldness, their pace” – how it’s “all wrong.” All of this creates tension, builds fright in the reader, for what is about to happen next…

Bonus Challenge!

Use sight, smell, sound, taste, and/or touch in your description of a raptor attack that could follow this passage!

Don’t forget to share your paragraph in the comments below, and comment on someone else’s work so we can make this a Discussion!

Did you find different texture diction than I did? How do you think this passage developed the Velociraptors (or Grant) or advanced the plot? Share your answers with the class – I’d love to hear from you! Use the hashtag #LetsDiscuss & #LessonJurassicPark



Add Tension to Your Scenes

Stop reading this blog if you…

Don’t want to hear about how to revise my writer’s kryptonite – tension in scenes and how my novel needed MORE fun and games.

Keep reading if you want to learn how to add tension and the magic of F & G.

Welcome, comrades –

First, let’s answer a couple questions. 1) What is tension? And 2) What is Fun and Games.

I’ll tell you.

Tension, above all else, is what makes the reader cringe – aka bite their nails off as they read – about your character when they do…well, whatever it is you’re having them do. Fun and Games, I understand thanks to the magnificent screenwriter Blake Snyder (thank God his book landed in my hands), are those “trailer moments” – the moments a person comes to a movie, or buys a book.

TWO sugar in the cake elements in writing that I thought I was good at, but (longer than I’d like to admit) learnt I lacked when reading draft number one. But I’m not writing this blog about my writing skills. This blog is for you – just in case you’ve read your first draft and thought – dang it, I need more tension in my scenes and fun and games in my outline. And because this is a blog and blogs are for discussion – and hopefully you’ll comment at the end and help me learn from you, too!

OK, so here we go.

Just because everyone has already stripped Star Wars to the bone…and no wonder (it’s fun – F & G!)…let’s try a different story with the same genre.

Movie: The Lion King; Genre: Golden Fleece


Sweet. I Already Love This Movie. Lion Cub and a Baboon in a kingly entrance.

All right, let’s ignore the play-by-play and immediately target those scenes that stand out in tension INSIDE the F & G.

The F & G ones that come to mind are:

1.) Looking Over Pride Rock

3.) I Can’t Wait to Be King

2.) Elephant Graveyard

3.) Stampede

4.) Hakuna Matata

5.) Can You Feel the Love Tonight

6.) Rafiki Finds Simba/Remember Who You Are

7.) Timon and Pumba distract the hyenas

8.) Simba v. Scar

9.) Remember Who You Are (reprise)

But wait…you’re probably thinking, if you’ve read Blake Snyder’s book on screenwriting, Fun and Games only happens in the first beat in the beginning of Act Two. So did I. And then I realized, wait a second, that beat in the story might be called Fun and Games – but Fun and Games is needed throughout the entire film/novel. If they truly are the moments “readers/viewers” come to the movie/read the book – they should be everywhere! The difference between good F & G and – as I like to say – too convenient/incongruent F & G – is how they fit together to mold the character arc – i.e. your hero’s transformation.

SO, to answer your question, yes, F & G does happen in Act 2…but also in Act 1…and Act 3. Let’s look at these moments again and identify why they qualify as F & G.

F & G Major Moments in Lion King

1.) Looking Over Pride Rock

  • it’s a cool and what a breath-taking sunrise!
  • it’s bonding time with Dad – and Mufasa radiates coolness – not only because Simba thinks he is (so inevitably we do, too) but he’s KING OF THE PRIDELANDS- a pretty bad-ass, strong, confident, respected lion, so there’s that

3.) I Can’t Wait to Be King

  • a band of safari animals taking advantage of an annoying bird – hilarious F & G!
  • reinforcement of Theme Stated – Simba’s calling to be king – through song!

2.) Elephant Graveyard

  • it’s a graveyard of elephant bones filled with dangerous hyenas, which means chase scene!
  • TENSION!!!!!

3.) Stampede

  • another chase scene – with cool Mufasa to the rescue
  • TENSION!!!!!

4.) Hakuna Matata

  • an unlikely group of friends eating bugs and other “who cares” actions that we all admit sounds fun – despite being disgusting
  • Hi, I’m in a tropical getaway that appears outside a life-sucking desert

5.) Can You Feel the Love Tonight

  • Romance!
  • Nala returns – and it’s magical!

6.) Rafiki Finds Simba/Remember Who You Are

  • Well, a blue-butt baboon with a sweet walking stick is toying with our distressed hero – yup, that’s funny
  • Umm – helllllllo – Mufasa in giant spirit cloud form gives Simba a reality check – magic!

7.) Timon and Pumba distract the hyenas

  • straight up “enemy-disguise” comedy

8.) Simba v. Scar

  • The moment we’ve all been waiting for

9.) Remember Who You Are (reprise)

  • Simba is victorious!
  • Reinforcement of Theme Stated

All these sound like reasons to read a book (if it was a book) or watch the movie – yes? And I’m sure if you’re a Lion King fan, these scenes immediately triggered pictures in your memory with no effort whatsoever. How do they do that!? Well…

  1. They reinforce Theme Stated – The Circle of Life
  2. They add tension that creates Character Arc…the reason for this blog. 

So TENSION – how do you create it in scenes? Simpler than you’d think, actually, if you can remember three major points that need to happen in EVERY – I repeat – EVERY scene of your story. In this order, your hero MUST have

1.) A Goal

2.) A Conflict (that gets in the way of that goal)

and they must make

3.) A Decision (the hero is called to act!)

If your scenes don’t have this – and especially in your F & G – I’m putting your book down, no matter how hard I’ve tried to read it.

Let’s look at one of these moments from Lion King to see how they could have worked and why they actually  work.

Scene: Stampede

  • chase scene that causes cool Mufasa to the rescue the hero
  • Obvious Tension: Yes, it’s a chase scene, so of course we’re nervous because it triggers some key primal goals – survival! protection of loved ones! fear of death!
  • The Less Obvious – and probably more important tensionSimba thinks the stampede is his fault

Why is Simba’s misconception what creates the real tension in this scene, or, arguably, the more important tension? Because it sets-up Simba’s need for a transformation – his character arc! – and it pulls us back to the theme stated.

How? Let’s look at how to create tension and break the scene down…

  • Goal: Simba wants to practice his roar so he can be an impressive king
  • Conflict: Simba thinks he causes a stampede, which results in Mufasa’s death as the king saves him – aka – Simba killed Mufasa (a secret! a lie!)
  • Decision: Simba abandons the Pridelands out of shame and fear – with the intent of “never” coming back (The YouTube video does not play all the way to this moment, but I’d like to consider it the real end of the scene, so stay with me in this next part)

Hot damn, that’s a pretty good scene.

I’d like to point that this scene (not shown in entirety in the video) doesn’t end until Simba makes his point of no return decision – to “leave” his ordinary world. This decision is what really ends the scene – and a lot happens in it. Simba thinkhe causes the stampede. He runs. He almost dies when the tree he climbed up breaks. Mufasa climbs a giant cliff. Mufasa dies because Scar betrays him. Simba curls up under Mufasa’s giant paw telling him to wake up (tear-jerker). Scar manipulates Simba. Simba runs away.

Tension. Tension. Tension. Because of misconceptions. Because of secrets (this one, from Scar – who knows who really killed Mufasa but keeps this from Simba, foreshadowing a confrontation at the end of the story), and trailer-moment actions.

And all because of a heated moment of hot, effing F & G!

But do your scenes do this? ALL OF THEM? I know mine didn’t. And it wasn’t until I realized I needed this Goal-Conflict-Deicsion tension in ALL my scenes – and the multiple moments of F & G – that I discovered my weakness. So it was time to admit it, and turn those writing weaknesses into writing strengths.

I mean, can you imagine if Simba didn’t think he caused the stampede? No movie. NOO! What a less-fortunate story-world we storytellers would have.

And NOW, I encourage you now to do two EASY (one, anyway) things:emerson

1.) COMMENT on how you think tension and F & G applies to the other Lion King scenes suggested in this blog!!! I’d love to hear from you, and continue the discussion!

2.) Revise the tension and F & G in your novel – and comment again to let me know how it went!

Until then, waiting for you here on the web.

AKLambert, out.



ya vs mg.png

Once upon a time, I participated in a query letter boot camp with agents Kimberley Cameron (@K_C_Associates), Elizabeth Kracht (@ElizabethKracht), and Mary C. Moore (@Mary_C_Moore) from Kimberley Cameron & Associates, via @WritersDigest.

During the sessions, I received the opportunity to converse in a discussion panel, learning key rules about writing query letters (more on that to come) and the first 10 pages. For a debut writer like me, best money I could’ve spent. Sure, did I dream of the far-fetched possibility of my one-on-one mentor asking for more pages? Duh. Did I think it likely? Heck no…but that’s not why I did the boot camp (just a chance)!

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you just need a professional to tell you Abby, you do this great, but THIS is what you need to do to make it publishable.

For me, my mentor – Mary – pointed out one CRUCIAL question. Did I want to write MG (middle grade) or YA (young adult)?

Observing how my voice and content were inconsistent, I decided to reach out to bloggers & experts including two agents (Mary Kole @Kid_Lit & Michael Stearns), two writers (Ruthanne Reid & Clair Legrand), and the friendliest Barnes & Noble employee I’ve ever met (I definitely recommend talking to booksellers if you feel lost—they read everything and REALLY know their stuff!).


A variety of views assimilated into 5 major points (I love bullets!), helping me to infuse YA styles over my original more MG-ish version. If all reads as intended, you can (hopefully) use my thoughts in your great MG or YA debate, clarifying the fuzzy areas and deciphering the important differences! (Phew!)


  • POV (Middle School or High School…age, awareness?)
  • FOCUS (Small-World Problems or Real-World Problems?)
  • LOVE (Holding Hands, Kissing, or More?)
  • JOURNEY (Just Beginning or Really Beginning?)
  • VOICE (Language & Style– simple or complex?)

POV (how age of the protagonist shapes it)

Perhaps the easiest way to decide your point of view is by your protagonist’s age: middle school (9-12) or high school (14-18…sometimes out of high school but not yet in college). Remembering that the character’s developmental level should mirror the reader’s developmental level, we can eradicate the gray area.

By popular consensus…the toughest age to make your character is age 13, so maybe stay away from it. It’s a tricky age, playing with the year where the character is a little too mature for MS but not yet in the mindset of HS. Of course, there are exceptions.

Harry Potter, for example, starts off young and ends the series in the end of his teens. Then again, HP is the book agents say NOT to compare your book to…for this very reason. It’s difficult for an agent/publisher to decipher where to place your book in the bookstore if you don’t know the developmental level of your characters.

For a debut book, probably better to focus on a stand-alone novel, with series potential. Hook your audience before confusing them – if it takes off, then you can think about crossing over as your characters grow.

Age isn’t the only way to determine the POV in your book. Clarifying the character’s awareness of the world around them—how they see obstacles and make decisions—also plays a big role. As a high school teacher, I can vouch…maturity difference between 9th (just coming out of MS) to 12th graders is HUGE. Heck, 9th to 10th grade is unrecognizable, especially in their ability to problem solve (9th grader – tell me the answer! versus a 12th grader – how do I find the answer on my own?).

Do your characters come across a lot of things they don’t understand (MS) or do they draw from past experiences to figure out how to get over something (HS)? Such a character approach can make or break the target audience who reads your book. Ask yourself this: does my character need their mentor to get where they need? Or does my mentor guide my character, advising them without giving them the answer? In other words, Dumbledore in book 1 or Dumbledore (now gone) in book 7:


HARRY, BOOK 1: Harry pairs up with Ron and Hermione. They learn how to deal with social and individual struggles like flying and potions class with the help of their friends and professors, finding their place in the school.

HARRY, BOOK 7: Harry continues to team up with Ron and Hermione, but they are no longer at Hogwarts – they have a greater task to accomplish, left to them by their deceased mentor. With Dumbledore gone, Harry must rely on past experiences to explore new ones, facing a rivalry greater than him and Voldemort alone.

To put a cherry on top, there’s also the actual POV of the narrator – first, third person, or does it matter? Writer Claire Legrand is the first I’ve seen address this idea in her blog, and I was glad she did! Conclusion? Many YAs are written in 1st, many MGs are written in 3rd. Don’t panic – my heart jumped into my throat when I first read this (I wrote a YA in third person – against the majority). Does it matter? No. Then what does? Following your gut and giving your characters the voice you think gives your book authenticity. Generalities are guidelines, not laws.

dumbledore 1

R.I.P. Richard Harris. We will miss you.

Harry_and_Albus_limbo 7

R.I.P. Dumbledore. You are missed.

FOCUS (Small-World Problems or Real-World Problems?)

When I taught Secondary English, I came across a bundle of students who complained about reading books too wordy to entertain them. Well, I’d tell them, when you read, do you see words or images? Often it was the first. Of course reading bored them; when you read, you want to visualize the character on their adventure by experiencing the lessons with them. The character’s FOCUS of the lessons can decipher the difference between MG and YA. Let’s see if you agree…

Expanding Character Perspective (internal or external?) It all depends on how the main character identifies their place in the world and how they experience it.

For MG, think the question, what lunch table should I sit at? MG characters focus primarily on friends and family, searching for their identity with a limited, safer perspective that guides their choices so they can avoid bullies and the receiving-end of a swirly (or so they hope!). They still think and act, but their choices keep in mind their impact on their personal social/home life.

Not YA characters. YA characters see the bigger picture, and set out for it. Think the question, where should I go to lunch today? YAs tackle universal social pressures and home issues impacting more than just the character’s personal life. I love when James Barry (playwright of Peter Pan) discusses how he lost his innocence in Finding Neverland. He tells a story of how he tried, desperately, to help his mother get over her depression (suffering from the loss of her eldest son), dressing in his brother’s clothes and walking into her room – it was “the end of the boy James,” he says.

YA characters look for answers to questions outside their safety zone, introducing themselves to experiences and obstacles they have never crossed before – and will be wiser, stronger, better for crossing them. They will have grown up, and ready to take on the world. For example…


HARRY, BOOK 1: Internal Focus: Harry’s rivalry with Malfoy grows, a major antagonist in this book. Harry does learn more about Voldemort and his growing threat, but we don’t learn much about Harry’s past other than how his mother sacrificed herself for him. Obstacles like the Mirror of Erised allude to Harry’s greater purpose, but the majority of the book focuses on in-school events…Harry doesn’t need to make the ultimate choice yet.

HARRY, BOOK 7: External Focus: Harry has left boyhood. He accepts his fate and gathers courage in the face of death, leading up to his sacrifice for the greater good.


I could take this snobby pureblood


Hmm, maybe I need Harry’s help with this one…

LOVE (Holding Hands, Kissing, or More?)

Romance is arguably needed in every novel because, let’s face it, love represents a driving force in our readers’ lives. But how do we draw MG romance away from YA romance? With one subtle difference: sexual stirring or sexual awakening?

In MG, tweens are learning feelings of what it’s like to have a crush– they hold hands, they kiss, they touch…but ultimately, they’re PG. Tweens feel romantic stirrings in their hormonal instincts, but aren’t quite sure how powerful these natural instincts will later affect them in life.

But YA characters …they know what sex is, and recognize when they have a sexual attraction, or awakening. Now, I’m not suggesting you need Fifty Shades of Gray SEX scenes in your book, but your reader should be aware of your character’s ability to feel an awakening in their bodies after interacting with someone who attracts them– reaching somewhere inside them deeper than physical. It’s Love, and everyone wants it. Think Ron and Hermione at 11 versus at 17.


HARRY, BOOK 1: Harry does not have a love interest, but Ron and Hermione grow a love/hate relationship, bickering in a way that somewhat annoys them, but ultimately intrigues them. They do not recognize these interactions as love…yet.

HARRY, BOOK 7: Ron and Hermione, at long last, put aside their need to make each other jealous and embrace the heat between them, finally giving the audience what they’ve been waiting for – LOVE!

ron and hermione 1

Ron is so young, so innocent, so…confused & annoyed with Hermione

ron and hermione 7

Hermione…so sexy. RON IS IN LOVE

JOURNEY (Just Beginning or Really Beginning)

Confession time. I fell madly in love with Joseph Campbell and his theory of the hero’s journey in my junior year of college, and I’ve never really let go. It is a great breakdown of every stage a character needs to experience in order to become a hero, but its complexity could consume a doctoral essay, so I’ll try to save you some time (best I can) and simplify one of its major accomplishments –the character’s CHANGE from beginning to end.

Accomplished screenwriter Blake Snyder points out how a producer can determine the success of a screenplay by reading the first and last ten pages of a script. CHARACTERS MUST GROW in a journey, but they do this in different ways in MG or YA novels.

In MG, the character experiences obstacles in their own world and learns a lesson about their personal life, changing the way they see their world. They grow as an individual, but have not grown up…they are only beginning their journey.

But YA, these heroes experience a journey that teaches them their purpose. They decide who they want to be and discover the opportunities in life beyond education. Life is a journey, but doesn’t really begin until you’ve figured out how you’re going to contribute your skills in the world, using them to make it better. Notice, for instance, how Harry isn’t even at Hogwarts by book 7; there are bigger things than learning magic going on…


HARRY, BOOK 1: Dumbledore confirms Harry’s notion that Voldemort is not gone and will return again. But for now, the worst thing on his mind is returning to the Dursleys.

HARRY, BOOK 7: Voldemort is inescapable. Overtaking the world outside the wizarding world, major sacrifices are made on mental, physical, and spiritual levels. This is it, the last battle, and if Harry doesn’t make the right choice, evil could consume both worlds forever.


Bloody Hell, not these three again. Do I have to go back?


A creepy, old lady’s home on a snowy eve…okay, guess there’s nothing left to do but go inside?

VOICE (Language & Style– simple or complex?)

You’ve made it! The home-stretch!

After reading and re-reading Mary’s feedback to me, I gathered a better idea for the voice, language, writing style, whatever you want to call it, needed to clarify my YA book from MG. For instance, Mary noted one of the biggest hitches in my writing was in over explanation of action/movement. She advised that often I did not need to fill in every action a character takes, e.g., “he dismounted the horse and walked him over to a fence post.”

This made me chuckle, and feel slightly relieved, since I originally placed this sentence in my first ten pages because a beta reader suggested he needed to visualize the action. It wasn’t this action alone, however, that caused the distractions Mary pointed out.

For MG and YA, you don’t want to tell your reader what’s going on, but show them. Both MG and YA use commas and other punctuation to create tension, avoid fancy dialogue tags, and limit their use of unnecessary adverbs. So how can we decipher the difference between MG voice and YA? Easy – the complexity of the sentences.

Whattt…not easy?

Let’s see if I can help with some examples from my own writing…

MG: She shivered. The dark clouds worried her, hovering over the mountain like a shadow, waiting for the right moment to attack.

YA: Cold ran down her spine, causing her to shiver. She remembered what her father told her about the dark plumes over the mountain – how they would devour the city like a voracious monster, consuming everything and anyone in its path. Even silent shadows can reek of death.

See a difference?

It’s subtle, but evident. The complexity of the sentence makes a monstrous change. One is more innocent and simple, the other physical and internally focused – despite not being written in first person. I’ve spent a good amount of time revising my voice to read more like a YA, and subtle changes like this one have brought (and continue to do so) my writing to a new level.

Best advice I can give you, READ! Soak your brain with everything you can in your genre and pay attention to how these authors create tension between their sentences. With practice, you can turn something great into something immortal. Look at J.K. Rowling.


HARRY, BOOK 1: “Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping.” (Chapter 5, pg. 56)

HARRY, BOOK 7: “‘Severus Snape?’ Mad-Eye Moody’s voice whispered out of the darkness, making all three of them jump back in fright. ‘We’re not Snape!’ croaked Harry, before something whooshed over him like cold air and his tongue curled backward on itself, making it impossible to speak.” (Ch. 9 p. 170)


It all began in a cupboard under the stairs…


A boy, now grown up, and ready to do more with his life in the world outside Hogwarts..

And now it’s your turn to decide…MG or YA?  Hope these thoughts help!  Good luck! 🙂